Biography

Early Life

Carole Anne McIlhagga (née Rees) was born October 26, 1946 in Neath, Wales. A traveller from an early age, Carole emigrated with her parents Tom and Joan Rees from Wales to Canada before the age of one. Shortly after arriving, the family settled in Windsor for around 10 years before moving to Winnipeg. During her adolescent years, the family moved to the Ottawa area (Manotick and then Bells Corners).

Carole was the oldest of five children, followed by Bobby, Susie, Twm and Claire. From an early age she took on the responsibility of helping to care for her siblings. Sadly, the family faced tragedy when Bobby was struck by a car and died at the tender age of 10. There is no doubt this experience had a significant impact on Carole, perhaps shaping and building her strength, resilience and compassion.

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She often reflected on the special people in her life, even from very early childhood. In addition to her immediate family, Carole was fond of her “Uncle Birch” who was a close family friend. She made many dear friends through her youth, including Helen who she knew since kindergarten, and Mary who played with Carole on the high school basketball team at Bell. While at high school, Carole was a social butterfly making many friends, including her future sister-in-law Liz. Her honour grads write-up in the yearbook also mentions her love for basketball, volleyball, sewing, knitting, interior decorating, travelling and arguing!

Education

Following high school, Carole embarked on a new journey by entering the Ottawa Civic Hospital Registered Nurse program in 1965. She lived in residence for two years, where she met more dear friends. Also during this time she attended a dance organized by the nursing supervisors to meet young “gentlemen” and had her first encounter with Liston McIlhagga, who had attended at the coercion of his basketball teammates. 

At the completion of the program, Carole earned her Bachelor of Nursing Science degree at the University of Ottawa in 1969. This would lead to Carole’s long and dedicated career in nursing. Her education did not end here however, as she always loved learning and actively pursued new skills, topics and experiences whenever she could. Her formal education continued through pursuit of French language certification in the late 1980s to early 1990s, and culminated in her return to university after retiring from nursing to earn her Master’s Degree in Conflict Studies from the University of Ottawa – St. Paul.

Nursing Career

Following completion of her nursing degree, Carole worked at the Ottawa Civic Hospital for three years before moving into her ultimate career path as a community health nurse. This began at the Ottawa Public Health Unit where she worked for ten years. During that time Carole reached out to Dr. Keon (the renowned heart surgeon), and collaboratively they established a program for home visits following heart surgery.

Carole continued her work as a public health nurse for the next 20 years at the Eastern Ontario Health Unit (including time in Cornwall, Winchester, and after gaining high proficiency in French, Casselman). Throughout this time, Carole continued to develop and deliver new innovative programming anywhere she saw a need—programs to help teens quit smoking, new parents, teacher’s aides, and more. Her kind, caring and non-judgemental approach opened many doors and enabled her to support many people in need over the years.

Always full of energy and ideas, Carole also started a small side business of offering parenting classes by establishing the Family Education Centre in Russell in the 1980s. This was the start of a future path toward conflict resolution that she further developed after retiring from public health nursing.

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Conflict Resolution

Carole’s work did not end with retirement from her public health career. While undertaking her Masters degree, Carole became involved in initiatives that were working toward world peace through conflict resolution. She began providing training on conflict resolution with the non-profit organization Children’s Creative Response to Conflict – Canada (CCRC), and eventually was asked to lead the organization. 

During this time she expanded the scope of programs, finding creative ways to engage children and youth in conflict resolution training. For example, she created an exchange program that paired youth in Northern Ireland with native youth from the Eastern Ontario area, offering an opportunity for cross-cultural exchange while also discussing experiences with conflict and how to work towards peace. She also worked for two weeks with youth in Nunavut on conflict resolution and suicide prevention. She worked with the Grey Nuns in the Dominican Republic for two weeks to work with children on conflict resolution skills. 

Bonnie Robinson, retired school teacher, joined Carole at CCRC and expanded the programs into the School Boards in Eastern Ontario—providing training to teachers to use conflict resolution techniques in the classroom and delivering programs to students. 

After several years at the helm, Carole found the effects of Parkinson’s Disease limited her ability to continue offering courses, and she retired (again).

Family and Homestead

While attending the Ottawa Civic Hospital Registered Nurse program, Carole met Liston at a dance put on by the nurse residence supervisors. Despite Liston’s shyness and imperfect dance moves, Carole saw his potential and continued to date him following the dance. In 1969 they married in Ottawa, and moved to Davidson Side Road. Here, their first child David was born.

Feeling the draw to establish a homestead, Carole and Liston found their dream property south of Russell and purchased the 20 acre lot and farmhouse in 1975. A year later, their second child Cariad was born.

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The early years at the property involved an enormous amount of learning—being farmers for the first time in either of their lives was no small undertaking, while at the same time they were raising two small children and working “regular jobs”. The farm became home to animals of all shapes and sizes. Geese were a big hit until Carole discovered they liked the taste of her plants—at which point it was time to move on to the next animals. Pigs, cattle, sheep, chickens, turkeys (and of course the farm dog, and a barn full of cats) were among the many animals to be seen at one time or another on the farm.

In addition to the farmwork, Carole worked incessantly to build gardens and landscapes—both to feed the family (and share with neighbours and friends) and to beautify the property. There was no reprieve from the yard work, even trees that had been planted, moved, and re-planted could still be subject to more transplanting if Carole wasn’t satisfied with their location. 

Over the years, Carole and Liston built bonds with their neighbours, particularly the Petrys next door who became like family. Despite there being very few properties on the lane, the neighbours were always looking out for each other, sharing skills, equipment, labour, and friendly advice.

The home also became the venue for regular gatherings of family and friends, with particularly memorable annual parties held on the August long weekend that, without fail, continued for the entire long weekend. McIlhaggas, Spencers, Rees’ and numerous friends gathered to eat, drink, play games and generally have a blast!

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Community Involvement

Carole’s boundless energy, coupled with her unending desire to help others, led to her involvement in numerous community organizations over the years. Undoubtedly this list is not exhaustive, however, here is a selection of her undertakings:

• Girl guide leader, girl guide camp nurse, and district organizer over the course of a decade or more
• Anglican church choir member and administrator for St. Mary’s Church in Russell
• Russell and Ottawa Historical Societies member and organizer of events
• Russell Horticulture Society member and organizer of events and speakers
• Activist and organizer for programs and rallies including fluorinated water, pro-choice, and pro-Canada (during the Quebec referendum)
• Russell Women’s Institute active member

Through these endeavours, Carole formed many long-lasting bonds that she maintained for years to come.

Travel

Somehow amongst all of her pursuits, Carole also made the time to pursue some travels—another one of her passions. This began with touring Europe with Liston in the summer of 1971, and continued throughout her life. She travelled with family and friends, on her own, and as part of groups. Some memorable travels included:

• Echo Valley Saskatchewan, where she was the nurse for the Girl Guides international camp
• Cross-Canada tour as a family, going west to B.C. by train, and returning by car. Special visits with friends and family in every province, as well as a drive-by of the home Carole lived in in Winnipeg, made this a very memorable trip.
• France with Cariad when she was 13, where they toured Paris and Nice
• England to celebrate Colonel By’s 150th anniversary of building the canal with the Ottawa Historical Society
• Italy solo to visit Pompeii and Rome
• Australia and New Zealand with Liston, including visits to family (Jill, Dennis, Bill and Carol) and friends (Margaret and Ray)
• Vancouver several times, first with brother-in-law Sean in the 1970s, then multiple times after Cariad moved there in the 1990s

The list goes on! With every trip Carole made the most of it—visiting friends and family, reading about local history, touring gardens, historic sites, parks and more.

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Living with Parkinson’s

In 2007, Carole was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, though by that time she had already lived with symptoms for several years. Despite the debilitating nature of Parkinson’s, Carole exemplified strength and determination as she continued to pursue as many of her passions as possible over the next 13 years. She continued to work at the Children’s Creative Response to Conflict Centre for several years, in addition to continuing to garden, entertain, travel, golf, and serve the community. She always approached every activity with gusto and a smile. During those years, Carole became a granny to three grandchildren, and had many fun visits that usually included dancing, singing and various other activities.

The challenges with Parkinson’s mounted, and by 2013, Carole’s symptoms worsened to a point where she had many days where she relied fully on Liston’s support to get through her daily activities. At this time, Carole was referred to Dr. Mestre, a neurologist at the Ottawa Hospital. Dr. Mestre and his team offered Carole the opportunity to implement Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS)—a procedure that involves surgically implanting electrical lines into the brain that can be programmed to reduce Parkinson’s symptoms. After a difficult surgery and recovery, Carole improved remarkably with the DBS implant, and was able to go back to many pursuits that she had previously enjoyed.

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Throughout this time, Liston remained by her side, providing her unconditional support and love. Liston often speaks of the astounding strength that he saw in Carole through this time, his awe at her ability to continue moving forward with positivity, and how much he learned from her steadfast approach to this disease. Carole and Liston also had tremendous support from neighbours, friends, family, and through the Parkinson’s support group, that helped them through more difficult times and provided them outlets to continue enjoying life.